Tales from
The Early Grave
Session Reports Blog
A talking zombie…?
We - the Tortletoni Family - was heading deep into the Barrows when we heard some human screams calling for help. We rushed to the rescue and found quite a strange sight! At first it looked like there were two adventurers wailing away on a zombie - which would be pretty standard fare for the barrows - but quickly those adventurers revealed themselves to be disguised wecubas that were attacking a SCREAMING ZOMBIE!!! Yup, you read that right.... we came upon a TALKING ZOMBIE!
WATCH OUT IN THE WOODS…and pretty much everywhere else….
We, the Tortletonis - those by blood and adopted - were headed out to the barrows past a place where we'd encountered a shambling mound in the past. We THOUGHT we'd taken care of it, as we'd set a pretty good fire to burn it up...but apparently, the corruption from the Barrows is seeping out, because the shambling mound came back.... AS UNDEAD!!!
You shouldn’t pick fights with people, but if you do you should probably not get killed so fast. Its kind of embarrassing for your family.
We didn't have Frankie cause he was feeling sick so he stayed up late drinkin' lots of medicine at the pub to feel better. It didn't work.
Night Patrol
We went on night patrol with our good friend Karg the Blacksmith... I say, good friend because that's what you's is after wading through an army of the undead together! And boy howdy was he lucky we was there!!!
In which we fight through waves of undead and abominations…
Once again, Dear Readers, the Tortletonies and their stalwart companions, Casan Jonar and myself, set off into the Barrowmaze in our continuing effort to map the labyrinthine halls and passages within.
EVIL FAERIES
HEAR YEE, HEAR YEE!!!! I got the latest brief for YOUS from your good buddy Toni, AKA Toni-the-Tip-Teller AKA Toni-Big-Tip!!!! So what do I gots for yous, you might ask? What sorta baddies are lurking out there? Two words: EVIL FAERIES
Barnaby Meets the Tortletonis and Friends #JusticeForBarnaby
There may be some misunderstanding going around town about a certain situation that transpired recently. Yes, it is true the Tortletoni's and friends erased another adventuring group from the mortal plane but they HAD IT COMING, the jabroni bastards!
Something Frickin’ Wicked This Way Comes
SOMETHING FRICKIN' WICKED is down in the barrows moving around like a dangerous wind. I don't know if it's a vampire, some sorta spooky evil mist, or maybe just some hot air or monster toots, but if you're going down there, I HIGHLY recommend you bring some holy water, silvered weapons, etc. with you along with some happy thoughts!
Try the new Croc Peat-Za!!! And Croc Creations!!!
For real, we brought in some great new protein for your favorite dish!!! Trust me, it's fantastic! Especially with a little extra buttah and gahlic. You need some new hot croc couture? Talk with us, especially cousin Vicki who's been cooking up some GORGEOUS stuff. Now that I've got your attention I got a couple of things to point out for yous good people if you're heading out to the barrows.
A Damn Near Perfect Day
We thought about gettin ourselves a piece of the mule action, get a piece of ass, so to speak, but we couldn't settle on it before we hadta run out to the Barrows, so we just rent like we do. And this guy Stenwick, he's kinda a weird dude, but he's a guide, right? So Tooly tests him, pretending he's gonna go the wrongway, and Stenwick, he catches it, so we know he's good.
