HEAR YEE, HEAR YEE!!!!
I got the latest brief for YOUS from your good buddy Toni, AKA Toni-the-Tip-Teller AKA Toni-Big-Tip!!!!
So what do I gots for yous, you might ask? What sorta baddies are lurking out there? Two words:
EVIL FARIES
My compatriots and I (who by this point need no introduction) were headed out to the Barrows in the lovely (at least for us) downpour when we saw this light out in the distance. We wasn’t sure what it might be, but we took some precautions (what they were are trade secrets of course) and suffice to say, they were mildly successful.
HOWEVER, no sooner had we started to sort out just what was going on, but three jabrioni faries, and a FRIGGIN WILL-O-WISP attacked us!
How you might say? By flooding the swamps with a good ten feet of water, and summoning a –NO JOKE — ICE WALL!!! It did a heck of a lot of damage to our party, and I had to hop to bringing a few of our folks back to consciousness before those evil little jabronis could get to causing some real damage, and I won’t lie, it was getting a little dicey there for a moment.
Half of us were in the water, half were on the ice wall, and those little butt-nuggets were out for blood!
That wil-o-wisp flew up to me in the water and tried to zap my five ways to sunday, but some quick thinking kept me from getting crispy. Nonetheless one of the other faries created a kinda whirlpool around Miggy and I that was looking none-too-fun, but cousin Vicki was able to pull miggy up and out of the water ’cause she got all huge and went into full “dropping the hammer mode” if you will.
Miggy summoned a spiritual weapon, and got lucky in literally “STICKING IT” to one of those nasty punks, who happened to be the one who brought in all the water so that spell was toast, and that’s when the tide – pun intended – really turned.
See the thing to know is these little bastardos aren’t much when they don’t got water to swim in. We started wailing on the will-o-wisp and Vicki took it’s head off with one of her well-aimed shots, and then the other faries just scramed because they knew they had two choices…Run, or face the consequences of their dastardly deeds…ya know…die.
Anywho, it was getting late, and we were a bit banged up, so we came back to town. But the big thing to take away from this is to be on the lookout for evil faries, ESPECAILLY if the water is high or it’s raining out.
Until next time, take it easy, and don’t forget to give your good buddies the Tortletonis a “Hello” when we’re around.
Sincerely, your pal,
Toni-the-Tool Tortletoni
Artistic rendition of the Tortletoni’s session by Miguelle de Tortleatoni
0 Comments